transitions.

Friday, March 31, 2006

thanks for writing to me:

i wouldn't say i exactly know how you feel now, since i just came back from heavy intoxication and im feeling a little drowsy. but i read your entry, somewhat understood what you are saying. i tried calling you though, but apparently you dint pick up, probably you are asleep.

i have no idea how i made you feel, but in anycase i apologized if i made you feel any worse. besides you reading this entry might perhaps make you feel worse so if are you not in the best of mood i suggest you don't go read the entry, since its private matters, i shall post it in my private blog. you have access to it, so just go read it when you are feeling better.

****

Thursday, March 23, 2006

well not exactly pretty long since i updated.

well this semester, i could see the transition in me, from a good boy to a bad boy. hahaha but although im a bad boy now, haha the image i cast and give other people is still cupu. hahahahaha, so people who doesnt know me thinks im really innocent. hahaha.

since last week till now. quite a number of things happened, good and bad too. well the bad one i shan't say. cause there are too many to start with. the only good thing is that i manage to get a 77 on my math, man im happy to death.

the bad things, well. theres this particular event that upset me for a day, and a few more little things that upset me a little further. friends are changing, people are avoiding, troubles are coming all day long.

i have a examination later at 11, ganbatte mas! i guess i have to try harder to study. but im dead tired. shit

Sunday, March 19, 2006

the chapter ended and another is going to begin.

im sad and glad. well.

Monday, March 13, 2006

tomorrow is math exam, and yes. its 14th of the month. same day and same situation, math exam plus univ applications due. i wonder how will i feel tomorrow.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

yesterday wasnt exactly a good day.

got a big fat scolding from my english teacher for not treating the work seriously. which resulted in me not getting my reccomendation letter. went to eat to berkeley and i slept for like.. 14 hours straight till today. i just woke up not long ago. man sleeping sure feels great.

tuesday is coming, so many things not done again. math examination which still is at the top of my priority list. followed by event a x r x followed by cornell university applications, which is my essays again. this time, cant cheat. gotta write on my own. crap man.

everyone else seems to be enjoying their life, notably halim prasetyo and.. everyone else. cant find anyone who seems to be suffering, other rico ( because of math ). but well. now im begining to hate liars, well. yeah don't have to be a big fat liar to be a liar to make me hate you, but its depending on the level of importance of what you had promised to someone, or maybe not. afterall what i think is important might not be important to you. now i make it sound as if the whole world revolves around you.

well after 3 semester in dvc, finally we had 3 girls who are sorta in our clique. the evan's angels. stella jess and cindy. i just realized in our clique, its always the 3 girls. since now dwi has car, so does mike. we can fit in more people to eat. but still, doesnt matter to me. not as if the introduction of girls made any difference, its just more jokes and more lame jokes. thats all.

i think i got to study harder for math. i dont want to fail because of event axrx. (x=⅓+⅔+.) well well, its a complicated equation. god, make my life better. this time you added dull colors to mine, dont you think its time to add bright colors now?

when meaningful people hear meaningless songs, they feel happier.
when meaningless people hear meaningul songs, they become emo.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

i don't want my fantasy to end by next tuesday, i don't want to have to say goodbye.

well. maybe i thought i should change my stupid depressing flowers to something more cheerful. pictures tell stories. black flowers meant death. well, take this change of layout as a plot for fengshui then. this week is busy and im still trying to organize my time. really, trying to. many things going on the outside and too many things going on the inside. so basically things arent that complicated but im complicated.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

yes zihui, im gonna grumble again, and its due to my laziness.

math 142 examination plus homework tomorrow, tuesday i have math 183 again. man its that day that makes me want to look forward to ( morning ) and its that day that i dont want to look forward to ( night ). i dont know why but my eye has been hurting so badly, i think its sinus pressure/headache. it just happened when i recovered from my flu and cough.

i have to study later on, but i havent. im feeling rather lazy lately, in the taking everything for granted attitude. i promised my mother to study hard for my mathematics, i know how crucial it is to me. but im still not doing enough to study. ok im grumbling again. people are really sick of me grumbling isnt it. maybe next time i should post something more ... non-grumbling posts.

and ewen, what the hell, how did you break your collar bone. haha i heard if you broke your collar bone your sex performance will be reduced by 30%. hahahahaha.

well i went to sf on friday. went to eat noodles and went to haight street. bloody long journey, and i dint buy anything. vans checkered slip on for only $30. haha thats pretty cheap i think, but i dint buy it cause i thought i would look like a big poseur wearing that. haha my wardrobe and fashion sense is like so. plain. all the things that i wear in life is practically plain, no patterns. afterwards while waiting for the girls to shop, we were too bored so we went to the golden gate bridge. went back to pick em up and ate at tanloong. expensive food but i think the food was alright, like so so only. i would prefer spend the money eating noodles though. ate icecream at marco polo icecream store. haha everyone was looking at us, little kids driving fanciful cars. 7 series, m3, and a gs. doesnt make any sense to me. why should little boys like us drive such fanciful cars. TERROR~~. oh thats a new language that i just picked up.

went home everyone hang out at my rooom. my room seems to be the new hang out place for everyone. cause, its the only place where people cant find us, doing all the bad things. drinking, gambling, screaming, smoking etc. so my rooom is constantly in a mess. like messy. this few days i have been sleeping for 12 hours or more in a day. freak man im gonna get a lot fatter if i continue being like this.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

you know, im really confused.

when i thought that i survived math, i dint. so many things, like practically so many, coming up till i cant handle it. especially for people like me doing things last minute, its really tough getting along with life. finished 3 university applications, another 2 more to go. and this 2 is even tougher then the 3 one im gonna do. i forged my parents signature, and reprinted it. they said they that want the original copy, not the fax copy. fuck. on top of that, i still have math extra credit to be done, math homework and of course math integration to study. man i feel totally fucked. and next next week another math examination. i applied to so many schools, but if i dont even pass my math, i wouldnt even transfer. so i better work extra harder to pass my math. i really feel damn upset for being stupid at math.

i dont understand why, but it just seems that there are endless of things to do everytime. like everytime when you thought that you could just take a break, things just happens of no where for no reason. not that i want to grumble about life, but shit i gotta grumble. on top of that, there is still the problem of @&$%&$754@#$%#@$^324. yeah you know what is it.

ahhh. my head is hurting everyday, like everyday. something is stuck on the top of my eye ever since i recovered for my cough and flu. sinus pressure?